Many people I know are nowadays undergoing a surge in their married lives which is creating too much stress on them physically and mentally. Marriage becomes unsustainable. The symptoms include physical and verbal abuse of each other.
It may also include permanent separation.
The Common Reasons I have found in these are
- TOO MUCH TAKE and NO GIVE
One partner always is accommodating and the other partner takes it
as a sign of weakness and becomes more demanding
- REMOTE CONTROL by PARENTS
I know one male partner who will call his parents for instructions on long-distance phone at least three times a day .Some mothers also manipulate their daughters to be cunning and cut throat through constant indoctrination. If the mother or father is a widow /widower or living separately, all the more dangerous it is in this matter >
I know a case where a widowed father, due to his over possessiveness has initiated divorce proceedings by brain washing his daughter.
- OVER POSSESSIVENESS
I know a wife who cannot bear it when her husband talks to anybody. I have two husband who won’t allow their wives (who are mothers of two, three kids) to go anywhere out alone by themselves .
- LIVING IN AN IMAGINARY WORLD
Husbands or wives perceive imaginary injuries or slights and then keep harping on their imaginary wounds
- SHOPKEEPER MENTALITY
I have done this for you, what have you done to me in return?
- DOMINEERING by one of the partners
Some husbands treat wives like doormats and vice versa in some other cases
- FEELINGS OF INFERIORITY
Due to qualification and social standing, the husband feels lesser than his wife and starts demoralizing her ,finding fault in small things and trying to destroy the self worth of the partner or vice versa
I feel the only way out is to realize that LOVE and not anything else is the bedrock of a marriage. Any problem like those shown above can then be easily solved. No sacrifice is then, a very high price to pay, for a successful, sustainable, marriage
The only question is whether it will be felt on both sides?
