WE THE INDIANS

I read an article in 2003 December issue of Readers Digest recently(when I went to visit my mother, I saw an old stack of books)   It is about the short comings of Indians , as expressed by N.R Narayana Murthy.I feel nothing has changed . I reproduce the points below from my memory of that article

1.      No Respect For Public Good

Indians do not think twice about civic responsibilities. Dirtying public places, no respect for the next user of a public toilet etc. Not preserving public assets with care.

2.      Depreciating Other People’s Achievement

Indians speak of cheaply about other people’s achievements. This is a historic trait. Even the medieval Arabian Traveller Aeberuni who stayed in India for 20 years remarked about this trait, centuries ago.

3.      Lack Of Professionalism

No commitment to provide the best result in work. Personal considerations are given more importance. Loyalty and office politics are considered prior to professional requirements of work.

4.      No Intellectual Independence

Even people above 40 years of age depend upon their parents and elders to make decisions for them. They do not think independently for themselves.

5.      Not Honouring Contracts

People give their word about something and do not honour it. No respect for Terms and conditions, timely delivery etc.

6.      Poor Accountability

Not ready to take responsibility for failures. Not ready to learn. Not owning up where short comings are indicated. Trying to shift blame for errors and taking credit, even if it is not due to them.  

Agony of a father- Part 2

Agony of a father- Part 2 (Refer part 1posted earlier)

Again I visited KB uncle last week. His wife was complaining about the son fighting to get the house and another land property. He has even physically attacked them. She started at about 3.30 p.m and me and my wife were listening to her woes. We left at 4.30 p.m, she was tearful since the moment she started talking and till the moment we left, she was teary eyed.

         All because of the son. This son I remember was her pet son and she always gave extra affection to him while he was a child.

        This is the repayment the parents got from their beloved PET SON.

        I advised them to totally ignore this matter and live their balance lives happily.

Risks to avoid-New Generation beware

Risks to avoid-New Generation beware

The greatest risks the new generation faces. [Beware or a too soft generation is under formation –our country’s future depends on them]

1.  Over protection by parents:

The plentiful situation now has given birth to a generation which has not seen “wants” in life. Everything is taken care of for them. Parents destroy their children’s life. Eventually resulting in children’s divorce, idling at home by grown up sons joblessly etc.

2.  Lack of approach to go full-swing into anything:

The internet and computer have killed curiosity. Complacence and the belief that “taking it easy” is right. I have seen MBA students submitting assignments copied from the internet. Hard work is anathema to them.

3.  Lack of punctuality:

The risk of not valuing time. Being casual about it being late in anything they do. And not bother about it. Not getting up early morning before sunrise is a contributor

4.  Lying or Bluffing:

In order to hide their mistakes, tend bluff about things. After sometime, it will be exposed. It is better to be upfront

5.  Giving Excuses as a habit & not taking responsibility:

If something goes wrong, it is not because of them.

One boy once had to meet me at 09.00 AM at my office. I called him at 08.30 A.M to check where he has reached. He said he has come very near the place. Then he arrived only at 09.20 A.M. It is our first meeting. Immediately on arrival, he blamed the auto driver (though I had given the boy clear directions at 08.30 A.M).

              Another person could not make a journey as promised. He called up and told me that the “train left early”. It is something which can never happen in our country , no train leaves any station earlier than the scheduled time.

6.  Too much money mindedness:

Though not prepared to put in hard work the media and the surroundings put in pressure to have money. So the generation is pressed to make money, even  dubious through means. Trying to get something for nothing.

7.  Wasting time on web based social networking and mobile chatting[without real life contacts]

To find meaning in life, these from channels. Some limited time is OK. To waste long time is wasteful & leads to problems.Many social evils and even crimes can occur.

8.  Looking for instant gratification , Avoiding pain:

Being not ready to put in the necessary efforts. Avoiding pain and frustration, which is part of growing up and becoming more balanced and mature. The point here is not deliberate pain –seeking, but boldness to venture into tough things, to achieve great things .No pain, No gain.

9.  Lack of consideration for others or for sharing:

Looking for pleasure only of oneself. Micro families encourage non sharing behavior. This they see examples from their own parents. They don’t feel the need to share also because they are mostly single child families where all the resources, attention are showered on limited number of children. The real world will be a shock, when the shell is broken.these children will not be able to cope, We have to realize that this world is interdependent,four people are needed to carry a corpse and a mother is needed to carry a young child.

What Have We Become Now?

Aluva bus stand (KSRTC)

A bus driver was beaten to death recently , at night 08:45 PM by two people who were travelling by bike. The alleged ‘crime’ of the driver was that he had brushed their bike, when the bus was coming towards the bus stand from the ‘pump junction’ side.

                     Ok. Take that the driver was guilty of the “crime”. [Whenever it is likely or unlikely]

                     What gave the right to the two ‘accused’ people to take the retributive action in this manner? We pride ourselves that we have the highest “literacy” and “compassion” are our trademark. [God’s own country]

                     Now the trade mark has become something else. We have reached a level of “plenty” and we have lost our souls. This will worsen with the recession and people returning from the gulf and having nothing constructive to do.

              We will be heading for chaos.If this is an early indicator, let “God save, God’s own country”.

About life experiences of people I met Part-2

I met Mr.D _________, who is working in a company which is visited.

          He ran away from home, when he was a child if about 10 years old due to poverty at home.

He was found by an old man in a street in a town at which he landed. The man offered him tea and bun and later took him to his home. He told the old man that he was an orphan. The old man, he took him under his wing. He was a trader in straw      (fodder to cattle). The boy grew up to become a good helper, later a vehicle cleaner, then he got a driving license and became a heavy vehicle driver and went round the whole of south India. Got reunited with his parents. Got a job in a public sector undertaking. Is married and has children.

          One incident he described was particularly disturbing, the lady who was the wife of the old man (merchant) never fed him well and he went hungry to sleep on many days. Later, the other drivers took pity upon him and created a credit arrangement for feeding with a nearby restaurant. He can eat; they will pay when they come back from duty.

          At the verandah floor, everyday she would just put something to eat in a plate and kick the plate with her foot to the boy. She would then go away into the house. The boy would eat whatever she had served. Then he could not ask for more. as she would disappear into the hinter most part of the house.

          There was another boy also, as a helper, who used to steal and eat. Mr. D_______ never did that. He was honest.

          My eyes were moist, when I heard this story. What terrible experience! This should never befall any child.

About life experiences of people I met part I

I met “Mr. I” a driver ( by profession ) who spent some time in a county abroad.

He recounted a tough real life experience he had in 1999-2000.

His job was to ferry workers in a van from the labour lamp to the cement factory construction project site at a placed called “ Ya……”

One day, just before he was about return to India, he was Ferrying people in a large van (like our MARUTI OMNI”. The tyres 2 numbers exploded and the van turned turtle twice or thrice.

                All were injured and admitted to hospital. After first aid, the driver was arrested for the accident and lodged in the traffic jail as an accused  . The country follows an archaic, tribal, “eye for eye” type of rules, ten people in the vehicle recovered fast and signed a “no obligation” for the driver who was in jail for the accident.

                The eleventh person lost consciousness, had a surgery done, lost his ability to speak and was still in hospital to he could not sign the NOC.

                The driver was subsequently shifted after one week from the traffic jail to the main prison. His personal things were taken off from him. His hair tonsured and he was given a shirt and a shorts. He spent 6 months in the main prison as there was no N.O.C. Nobody was there to take him out. No bail was there. No enquiry. No forensic study.

                Later, the injured person, who was an Indian, was brought back to India, he was a bachelor and his mother on humanitarian grounds, signed the N.O.C. This N.O.C was produced at the prison and the driver got released.

                What a horrible experience! He was lucky that the mother signed. Otherwise still he would have been in jail for no fault of his. [for years and years]

The Search For Happiness

The Search For Happiness

Recently I had a phone call from an old friend, suffering from panic attacks and unable to cope.

In the material world he has everything you could imagine, and he is not suffering from the lack of anything. But he is impoverished in the spirit and unable to live a happy life.

 We tend to always look at things we “don’t have” and lament about them, while we forget to enjoy” What we have” to find satisfaction in them.

He feels that his life is meaningless. He is in a mid life crisis.

We should understand that there is no difference between ourselves and others except in the shape, form, color and name. If I have the feelings of hunger and pain, all other humans also definitely have them. If we are blessed with plenty we should also know how to share & enjoy. When we have a string of successes and material gains, we forget this (as the brainwashing by the TV ads wants you to) and cling to material possessions and buy many things we do not actually need. We find happiness in our possessions. They actually sap our spirit and make us devoid of the inner peace. We become self centered and narrow minded.

We want to avoid pain, forgetting that pleasure contains the seed of pain. It does not mean that we should not enjoy life, but do so from a perspective of balance and detachment. Also try to be of use to others during this short life.

Otherwise when the harsh realities of life surface, or when crisis emerges in life, we are unable to cope. This is the curse of the “modern” life.

The only certain thing other than “mother”, in life, is “death”.

How to live life in such a manner that you are always balanced and autonomous, at the same time ready to heed the “exit call”, is something we should cultivate from a young age. Practice will slowly bring maturity in us and then lead to equanimity.